Nothing like a nice friendly visit to the family doctor to cheer you up. For years I have been aware of a silent bomb ticking inside me. A few years ago I got the rather surprising news that I was more American than I had realized - I was carrying elevated levels of cholesterol. At that time I wrote it off to years of life as a poor student - too much pizza and fast food. Through diet, my numbers came down. Then a few months ago, I visited the health fair at work, and lo and behold - high numbers back again. Dizzyingly high in fact. The walking dead kind. The nurse who did my test didn't even know what to say to me kind.
So now some perspective. As far as I know, I don't have any family history of heart disease. Cancer, yeah. Heart disease - no. Well.. maybe everyone died of cancer sooner than they would have of heart disease. Who knows. And it's not like I am eating KFC every day (I haven't had any in years). Same goes for most kinds of fast food. So it's gotta be genetic in nature. Great. Tiny little buggers I can't even see are wreaking havoc on me.
Anyway, so I came away with a prescription to keep the Pfizer company solvent for a few more years. I also had a heart scan, the results of which are due in a few days. Good afternoon, Mr. Sen - you'll be happy to know that we have scheduled you early for your 100,000 mile tuneup.
Ok. My writing is merely covering up the fact that I am very scared. Nothing like a growing family to realize how precious life is, and how much you can miss out on. I was sorely tempted to not write this post until after I got my scan results. But I learned a long time ago that it's right to give thanks to the Lord today rather than tomorrow, after grace has been made apparent (or not so apparent).
I feel funny inside. There are moments where I feel peace, and a reassurance from the Lord that my life is in his hands. Then the pendulum swings, and thoughts of doom, and death, and despair peek through. The latter thoughts last less than a second, but it's enough to know that somewhere in the garden of flowers is a dead rat.
So stay tuned. I am going to go look for that rat.
2 comments:
Wow Bipin, sorry to hear the news about the cholestorel and stuff. So, can diet not change it at all? Since you got it down the first time with diet, can't you do it again? ... i'm sure you had the same question ... so sorry for asking again :)
Keep us posted man!
Please keep us posted Bipin... That is sobering news. Please let us know how we are able to pray for you specifically. How kind of the Lord to reveal it to you this way vs. the more difficult way... At this point there are still ways to bring it down!
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